Lost love
by karasuraven096
Summary: Rin has died as a teenager, but she was reincarnated. One day an accident at school caused her to travel back to the futel area where she meet Sesshomaru but as Kieko Hayashi not his beloved Rin. Though in her heart she feels they belong together, for some reason. (There's a reason it's rated M for chapters to come.)
1. Meet the Demon Lord Sesshomaru

**This is a story of what would happen if Rin had died as teenager taken away from Sesshomaru. But she was reincarnated into Hayashi Kieko. I wont give anymore more away because the reason she was incarnated and brought back are all in the story. Also a lot was inspired after the "Inuyasha-the final act" so if you haven't seen the final act yet you may not understand a lot of whats happening. Some characters may be OOC, but not to far off of the point.**

**Disclaimer: I own no characters but Hayashi Kieko. I made her up in Rin's likeness.**

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His lips slowly came down meeting her cheek, the beautiful man with the crescent moon on his forehead. It was as if she were looking at him through her eyes.

As if it where her laying there looking up at him. His face looked cold and hard but his eyes were slightly expressive. You wouldn't know it unless looked for it but his eyes had shown nothing but love.

But almost instantly that love turned to pain. He looked down at her. She coughed but there was no sound there was never any sound. His hand touched her cheek, softly then he ran his thumb across her lips.

When he pulled back she could see the blood. He had said something, demanded it. With that cold face and pain filled eyes. The vision of him started to blur. And before it all went dark she could see him still demanding something from her. She wondered what it was. As her eyes closed she spotted that one single tear roll down his cheek.

Out of everything that tear always prepared her for what would happen next. The only sound she could hear and what always felt like she would never hear again. "RIIIN!"

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Shooting strait up in bed Kieko rubbed her eyes and shook her head. She whipped off the tears that came with that dream, that would be her tenth time dreaming that same scene over and over, always with no audio, always the same guy with the same tattoos on his face and long silver hair.

And ALWAYS the strong deep voice at the end screaming in agony and pain. Then she'd wake up, just like that. The first time she got it, was a month after she turned sixteen.

The first time she woke up screaming with the man and cried for an hour though she didn't know why, but leaving him in her dream hurt her so bad it knocked the wind out of her. She was better about it now, almost expected it when she went to sleep at night, sure there'd be tears in her eyes like the pain hurt her too but she always forgot it after her shower.

Getting up for school she went over to her dresser and got out a pair of black jeans, a red tank top with the Japanese word for love written in big, black, bold letters vertically down the left.

She was born in Japan but her family had moved to America after she turned nine. She was already studying English so it wasn't that hard to learn she easily became fluent in both English and Japanese. After all her clothes for the day where picked out she went to the bathroom to tidy herself up.

Looking in the mirror she hated how her hair always curled at the ends just slightly so they stuck out like branches of a Christmas tree. To fix that she always just put it up in a ponytail and let it be.

As she dressed, packed her iPod, and books she walked down the stairs and gave a wave to her parents who were fumbling with her new baby brother, trying to get him to eat. They'd figure out she left for school around noon.

She was actually excited today; a man from Japan would be coming to her world cultures class to show off an old Japanese artifact that was found, to educate more people on the Shinto religion.

At least that was what her teacher had told them, and Kieko would be the one to interpret for everyone.

As soon as she left the house she put in her head phones, and walked down the New York City streets. Humming to herself she started to daze out letting her music drift her mind.

She saw the picture of the beautiful man from her dream, looking down at her, his face getting closer to hers. When she finally noticed her surroundings she was in front of her school already blushing. Walking up the steps she smiled at her friends and saw a very out of place man in the hallways looking for help.

Kieko approached him and bowed when he bowed back he looked a little relieved. "Hi, I'm Hayashi Kieko I'll be helping you in my class today." She said in Japanese. When he took a sigh of relief he smiled back at her. He introduced himself as 27 year old Morimoto Momiji, and he walked next to her as she showed him their way to class.

He carried a glass box you'd see in museums and over it he placed a red cloth. She pointed to it and asked if that was the artifact. He nodded and stopped in the hall, he asked if she wanted to see it, as long as it stayed in the case it would be fine.

They walked into the bare class and he set down the case on a table that was set up for him beforehand. As he pulled off the red cloth slowly, she was in there a rusty, old, sword with a black sheath lying beside it. The sword was chipped and looked like it had been used one too many times.

"I don't mean to be rude, but this is just another samurai sword, America and Japan have plenty on display what's so special about this one that you travel around the world to show it off?" She asked looking at it her brown eyes tracing every knick and scratch. She traced the case over the sheath.

It looked familiar somehow in the back of her mind. He laughed at her a bit and smiled.

"It's special because this wasn't or isn't a samurai sword." He leaned in, "notes from a temple in japan were passed down from a priestess saying a set of swords that belonged to demon brothers. We believe this one to be the older brother's or as myth goes." She looked at it and smiled to herself, only in Shinto would demons carry swords.

When she looked back up at him she couldn't help but notice similarities between him and the man from her dream. They both had stern faces, the same bone work she had seen it enough times in a month to remember, and his eyes were a remarkable resemblance to the man she dreamt about.

"He was supposed to be powerful, and this sword was rumored to be passed down from his father and could bring the dead back to life." He said looking down at it smiling like he was so proud of it.

"Excuse my rudeness once again but, how do you know that this is the mythical sword?" He smiled at her and her heart stopped suddenly. 'So that's what he looks like when he smiles' She thought then shook her head watching him pull out a brief case.

He opened it and pulled out an old sheet of parchment, when he opened it up she saw an almost faded sketch of a sword and sheath. He laid it out next to the case.

"This sketch was found with the notes, also another one said to be the younger brother's sword. This is our proof" He said proudly. She looked over the sketch then back at the sword, ever chip, knick, crack, and scratch that was on the sword was accounted for on the sketch.

"Wow." Was all she had left, and she smiled back up at him and laughed. "Well you shut me up" she said in English and he looked at her confused. Waving him off her heart started to pound, and she felt a pressure on her chest.

Leaning over clutching her chest she started to cough, He looked down at her worried. He reached out for her as she felt herself grow weak. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, like they were closing and the more air she tried to take in the less she could breathe.

She looked up at him and he looked down at her scared. Suddenly she felt herself going forward clutching anything she could find for support. She felt something in her hand put all it did was move with her as she fell. Her eyes started to blur as the man looked over her. All that was missing were his silver hair, and tattoos. And the kiss.

The sound of breaking glass hit her ears and she heard people yelling, calling out for someone but she was already floating. She was dying, right here in school. She had never had her first kiss, never went back to Japan like she was promised, never got to fall in love.

The light that engulfed her was a soft blue color. So she was going to heaven like in church, the light was different than how they said but flying felt so good. Then she hit the ground. Hard. The pain knocked the breath out of her; she let out a sound she didn't know she could make.

When her breathe started to come back the smell of grass hit her nose. She sat up slowly her back killing her, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. Looking around her eyes not fully adapted, it looked like she was in a field.

"You smell delicious." She heard from behind her a deep gruff voice in Japanese. Then heavy breathing and a slurping sound. As she slowly turned her head Kieko let out a scream. A large bear wearing a traditional robe walked from the woods.

He smiled his teeth yellow and red as saliva dripped from his mouth. "Mmmmm screaming just makes me hungrier." As he stepped forward she began to panic.

"W-what are y-you?" She asked sputtering in Japanese. He grinned wider and walked forward whipping his mouth with his sleeve. His black fur around his somewhat humanoid face growing thicker as it receded out down his back.

"I am the demon Hinjaku of the forest. And you-" He pointed at her with a laughing smile "Are my dinner." As he lunged, a golden light emitted diagonally across his body. The he slices in two his shoulder to his waist fell forward, blood pooling around as his lower body falling forward as well. Behind him landed a tall man, from behind he had long silver hair, another white

traditional robe and pants, and white fur coming from the front down the back. He looked back at her glaring. She felt her heart stop.

"Who are you, and why does your scent smell like hers?" His voice was deep, demanding, harsh and hateful. Although even though she could feel his distrust and hate tears came to her eyes and a feeling of relief and love came to her. He was here, she was dead and he was in her heaven.

"I don't know who I am anymore." She said her voice cracking and tears spilling over.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	2. Just a dream?

**A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was so short, I had some problems with my computer where my first draft of chapter 2 was deleted twice so I just wanted it to get finished and uploaded as soon as I could. I'm not to happy with it but the next chapter will be better I promise.**

**Also I own no Characters**

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His eyes flared in anger, his face stern and Kieko couldn't help herself but shutter a bit at the sight. "That is no answer." He said looking down at her, or maybe down on her.

He didn't look like the man she dreamed about. He scared her a bit to be truthful, but deep in her mind she felt that this was not who he was, this was a front. She stood up slowly and bowed in his direction.

"My name is Kieko Hayashi, thank you for saving me just now." As she looked up to smile she saw he was already making his way through the tall grass at the edge of the field. An urge made her fallow after him; she felt she needed to be by his side to help him.

She scoffed at herself as she felt the tension from his body a man like that didn't need help, if anything she'd need help from him. She silently scolded herself for thinking that, this was the same man in her dream who cried for her, who kissed her and whipped away the blood from her face- no that wasn't her.

He called out Rin not Kieko. All these feelings for someone she just met and who seemed to despise her for no reason confused her. She was weary and scared of him, but also she felt at ease and safe with him.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru! Oh when you left so suddenly and me all by my lonesome I became frightened something was wrong." A high pitched annoying voice called out breaking her line of thought.

As she broke through the grass to the other side she saw the man from the back, walking away uncaring. His shoulders were heavy and his posture was strait, but somehow she could see how much of a front that was. She looked down a little embarrassed for knowing so much about him already, she was so damn confused.

Looking at his feet she saw a little bald green man running after him, with brown and green clothing on that resembled other styles she saw today. He was carrying a long staff one side an old man, the other a young woman. The faces looked so lifelike in the wood she startled a bit.

"Sesshomaru? Is that your name?" She asked her mouth moving on its own. As her hands came up and clamped over it she saw him turn slightly and the green man whirl around at high speed.

She let out a screech seeing his nose and mouth connect in a beak and his eyes so large and bugged they took up most of his face. He walked over to her frowning and eyed her up and down, as he walked around her in a circle she stiffened and watched him.

He scared her with his odd looks but she wasn't as afraid of him as the other man. With this one she felt like if he became to annoying she could just stomp on him or kick him. As the other man returned to walking a head she tried to follow him one more only to feel the staff hit her stomach stopping her in her tracks.

"Lord Sesshomaru, this girl smells like Lady Kagome, and Rin what are you-" the gold light she saw before was slashed right at the feet of the green man. Kieko looked up and shivered as she saw the man's face twisted into a snarl his eyes a shocking deep red.

A low growl escaped his lips and his fingers tightened around the hilt of his sword. His eyes not leaving the green man Kieko let out a small squeak of fear. As soon as she heard herself she tried to cram it back in, his eyes flashed up to hers and she jumped.

Slowly his face returned to normal and he stood up slowly turning around again and started walking away.

"I told you to never say that name again Jaken, ever." His voice was stern and monotone. He continued walking as the green man gulped and followed after him loyally, his high pitched voice screaming apologies along the way.

Taking a step forward she stopped herself and looked after them. She felt that she was unwanted and it was best to stay away from them both. Kieko turned the other way and looked around as she started walking in a random direction.

The trees were so big, and the air smelled so clean. The quiet sounds soothed her and she stopped mid step. It all hit her at once, where the hell was she? She was in school not a half hour before with the man from Japan; she was standing with him looking at the sword he brought in listening to his story.

She looked behind herself and smiled a bit he looked a lot like the man with the crescent moon, Sesshomaru was his name right? Her mouth opened and she let out a bark of laughter and she smiled to herself.

It all made sense now she was dreaming. She fell over in school, probably hit her head and now she was in the nurses office dreaming waiting for mom to come get her.

"DUH!" She said to herself feeling stupid for thinking one second this was anything but a dream. She could take this world and herself more lightly now. She laughed and started to skip feeling the warm air on her face, she was good at this, everything felt so real.

"Way to go brain" she complimented her mind on all the fine jobs it did with the textures, aromas, and sights. She even thought up an odd character such as the green beaked man, Jaken she named him right? She stuck her hands in her jean pockets and felt her iPod, and her head phones.

Pulling them out she decided to just lay down and listen to the music until her mother showed up. Even if it was her dream what would she make happen? The man Sesshomaru come back and make love to her, and tell her how much he loves her until she can go back to sleep?

Her blush heated up her face and she tried to make the idea go away as fast as possible, that was way too embarrassing to think about even in a dream.

As she walked into a more heavily wooded area, she could hear water splashing in the distance. A thought came to mind, she could lay by the water listening to her music feeling the sun fall through the leaves and wait.

It seemed more relaxing than anything she could do while she was awake; to not take this opportunity while she can would be a sin. As she spotted the water complete with docks and a small shrine besides it made of stone she smiled.

It looked so peaceful here she just had to go the extra mile. As she sat on the docks she removed her shoes and socks rolling them up and tucking them into her shoes so she wouldn't lose them. She took the ends of her jeans at the hem and rolled them up to her knees, as she slid one foot in then the other.

The chill went through her feet and up her spine it felt refreshing. Putting in her head phones and listening to the soft beginning of her My Chemical romance album, she swished her feet back and forth in the water with the beat humming along.

Something glided against her foot as she started to drift, with a start she sat up and looked down into the water; it was too dark to see anything but her feet. She had a feeling she should take them out fast, as she started to recoil she felt something grip her ankle tightly.

Pulling off her head phone and tossing her iPod away she tried to pull her foot away, but as she did she was pulled back, the tug caused her to skid against the dock. A shadow started to rise from the water and Kieko pulled her foot harder. The surface of the water broke and a woman who had the body of a snake was before her. Her eyes looked at her, as humans looked at an ant. Kieko looked around desperately for a stick or something, she willed her mind to form a gun in her hand but nothing happened.

Panicking tears formed in her eyes as the fingers around her ankle tightened and pain shot through her leg. The long nails started to make crescent moon shapes in her skin as blood welled around them.

Closing her eyes tight Kieko thought of the man Sesshomaru. "I-I want to wake up now." She said her voice weak and cracking. She was being pulled up by her foot and at monster looked at her.

"What's that are you praying human?" The woman asked in a husky low voice with an amused tone, Kieko had spoken in English she forgot the dream was in Japanese. "Prayers won't help you, Nothing can help you from being lunch for my babies" She smirked, now hanging upside down Kieko looked and saw snakes swimming in the water so many they overlapped each other and started to strike out at her. She whimpered as a tear rolled up around her forehead.

"I want to wake up, please. I just want to wake up and go home now" She whispered as sobs started to come out, the realization hit her at one. She wasn't dreaming, this was all real and she was really about to die.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!" She called out her sobs loud and her tears wetting her hair temples and forehead. She called out in English, in Japanese, she called for anyone. A tongue came out and licked her forehead bile started to rise and stung her nose and throat.

"You'll be delicious for them." She chuckled as she let go of Kieko's ankle and water hit her face hard, she was surrounded by it, she couldn't breathe as she opened her eyes she saw the snakes fast as lightening swimming for her, kicking her feet hard she tried to swim away.

One bite, two bites, she felt like she was being ripped apart. Tears flooded from her eyes as she fought against the mouths, kicking and punching and biting back, her lungs burned again but different from before this time they stung because water was filling them.

Then she felt another grasp on her wrist she fought as hard as she could but the grasp tightened almost snapping the bone in two. It was most likely a snake squeezing the fight out of her. Then she was pulled from the water and the bites and weights from the snakes disappeared.

She could feel blood flowing from her wounds and she took a big gulp of air as she started crying from the pain and from being so scared.

She was being cuddled, held tightly and protectively. That was all she remembered until she blacked out. She woke up in a blanket with a warm fire next to her, her chest burned and she coughed. She opened her eyes but they hurt too, it was dark out, the stars she saw made her lose her breathe again.

She had never seen anything so beautiful. As she tried to sit up pain sliced through every inch of her body. "Don't move you're hurt." For some reason disappointment hit her hard, she wanted to cry again.

The voice was a woman's it was calming and nice, she wasn't in danger but it wasn't the low husky monotone voice she wished it was. Looking over she saw a man with silver hair, and ears on top on his head like a dog, he was wearing a red shirt and pants, but he was barefoot.

The girl in front of her had big brown eyes she looked nice enough but was wearing a Japanese school uniform; there were two other people she couldn't make out as well.

"W-where am I?" She asked her voice croaking and her throat dry. The girl looked a little uneasy and Kieko asked again in Japanese, the girl nodded as if saying she understood from the beginning but still her eyes shifted over to the others.

"Sesshomaru?" She asked hoping the girl knew who he was and if she could get him but all she saw was shock on her face, then she shook her head softly.

"H-he's not here" She said back and watched as Kieko just turned her head with a nod and let her eyes close again. He wouldn't be coming for her after all.

This was real and the only person she felt safe with had abandoned her because she was ignorant and not who he wanted her to be. She just wanted to sleep now, and wake up with him if she had to wake up here again.

**End of Chapter 2**


	3. Around the campfire

**disclaimer: I own non of the characters.**

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Pain that was all she felt, physical and emotional pain. He hadn't saved her from death. She had imagined everything, after being pulled from the water, what she felt when she was being cuddled was probably her just being held onto tightly so she wouldn't drop.

The protectiveness she felt was probably all in her mind when she thought it was Sesshomaru saving her. She groaned thinking about it logically as her broken body laid on the warm mat in front of the fire.

Why would he even come back for her? She knew him what twenty minutes, and he looked like he hated her for the very fact she lived. How could she feel she loved him so? He was beautiful and he held a sexual attraction but what did she know of him besides that?

When did he get those tattoos? She thought for a moment and dared to ask herself, were they even tattoos? He didn't look human when his eyes had turned red and his face snarled at the mention of the girl Rin.

Rin. She grew to hate that name in one day. She would never be Rin she would smell like her it seemed that was pointed out to her enough times but she would never be her. She would never hold a candle to this woman she had so much in common with.

"I hate her." She mumbled to herself thinking of the pain in Sesshomaru's eyes when he called out for her in her dream. The disappointment he held when he saved her from the bear thing when he noticed it wasn't her, but some stranger who had 'her scent.' If she ever met this Rin that held everyone's fascination she'd punch her.

A tear slipped over her cheek as she felt the sharp pain of rejection that she would never be good enough as Rin. She would always be the girl that smelled like her but wasn't the real thing.

"How are you feeling over here?" a voice asked soothingly. It was the girl she woke up to, what was her name? She didn't remember. The girl probably said but Kieko wasn't listening.

Kieko looked over at her and tried to dish out an 'I'm ok' or 'never better!' but all that came out was a squeak and more tears. "Does it hurt that badly?" She asked softly putting her hand on Kieko's forehead.

Yes, but it wasn't her wounds. It was her heart, she was in love with someone she never met before and knew for all of twenty minutes.

Hearing it even in her head Kieko wanted to slap herself. You couldn't love someone you didn't know; it just made you sound stupid.

The girl looked like she was waiting for an answer, Kieko just shook her head no, and afraid if she talked she would burst into tears. She looked up at the girl and tried to turn her head away again but she just spoke more.

"Then I know what you're feeling." Kieko looked over so fast her neck popped and she winced. The girl jumped a little worried, Kieko raised one of her badly bitten hands in reassurance that she was okay. She settled back and looked down at herself the girl whose name Kieko forgot.

"Yeah I felt the same way when I first got to this time too. Scared, confused, I had to keep assuring myself I wasn't dreaming." Kieko nodded, she understood too. She figured out it was real the hard way. "How did you get here though?

By your clothes I'd say you are from my time, but they're not Japanese style. And you spoke English the first time you talked. So you're an American Japanese." She said, looking at the girl.

None of this made any sense. Time? So she was saying that Kieko time traveled? The laugh that erupted from her body surprised them both and the others looked over ready to attack if needed. The girl waved them down looking at Kieko curiously.

"T-time travel?" She croaked out her throat hurting, maybe from screaming, or the water that was flushed in and out of her lungs. "That's impossible, this whole thing is just impossible.

I fell at school and now I'm here. Where the hell is here?" She asked her voice raising her tone growing annoyed. She knew she wasn't dreaming so what the girl was saying was the only thing that made sense but her rational side of thought would not accept that.

The girl sat there patiently looking like she understood exactly what Kieko was saying. "Well, I understand how you feel. I fell from a well on my family's shrine in Japan, it's a long story but after all the time I spent here after a while it made some sense to me.

Weird sense but I understood it. But you fell at school?" She asked looking confused as well.

"Y-yeah I'm the only person who speaks fluent Japanese and we had someone come around showing a really cool artifact that was found in Japan, I was going to translate for him and my class when I got dizzy and fell." That was how she remembered it at least.

Then Sesshomaru. Tears welled up in her eyes again as she remembered his eyes, there were filled with such pain. She wanted to help him release that pain, wanted him to be happy to let go.

"T-thank you though. I don't think I said it before but thank you, for pulling me from the water and saving me." The girl looked at her in confusion, then over at her group. Like she was questioning something. She smiled and held up her index finger, signaling 'one moment' as she got up and walked over to her group.

Kieko looked over trying to sit up, but the pains from the bites were too much, she stung everywhere like needles were being plunged into her skin all at once. She could raise herself no higher than four inches from the ground.

Kieko was so curious as to what they were saying, she tried to strain her ears to listen but only heard the crackle of the fire next to her.

Sighing she gave up and waited for the other girl to return, but when someone sat next to her it wasn't who she expected. The man with the red Hakama sat down next to her, his hair a long silver and his ears at the top of his head like a dogs.

His eyes, reminded her of sesshomaru's only his were kind, and welcoming though he wore a face of distrust.

"We didn't pull you out." He said, his voice stern and harsh. He was looking away from her, most likely to give her, her modesty. She had just realized herself naked under the covers, her clothes hanging near the fir drying off.

She looked over at them and saw all the blood and tears. Were there really that many snakes? Blood was stained through the black shirt, she could see it over the letters written on the side. Her jeans were tore in every possible way as blood marks not as bad as her shirt streaked through.

She couldn't find her bra or underwear, she wasn't wearing them so she assumed the girl had them drying somewhere discrete. She suddenly flushed, her body was bare and a guy was sitting right beside her like it was nothing, she also felt a little insulted he wasn't trying to peek.

She pulled the blanket closer to her neck, so any visible spots were out of sight.

''Hey, did you hear me?!" he said his voice rash and sounding like his temper raised. She looked up at him confusion racking her brain.

"But someone pulled me out, I felt it. I was going to die but I was saved. I figured it was you." He shook his head and crossed his arms as he looked into the campfire.

"You were unconscious by the river bed, the snake demon's head was removed and thrown to her own children to eat." He looked at her "We were gonna ask when you woke up how that happened. But from what Kagome said you don't even know."

Kagome. Kagome, she had heard that name before. Where had she heard it it was so close in her mind. "Also I want to know something." He looked down at her face. She gasped at the intensity they held. So much like Sesshomaru. It tore her heart. "How do you know my brother?"

She looked up at him confused, She didn't even know him how could she know his brother? "I don't know your-"

"Sesshomaru, how do you know him?" He asked cutting her off. Her mouth opened and she looked up at him. Sesshomaru, his brother? He knew Sesshomaru? This man would know where he was then.

She sat up fast, not caring about the pain that screamed at her. Not caring the blanket fell from her body , sitting strait up she looked at him in the eye as his face turned red. She could head a dim commotion over by the tree where Kagome and the others sat but her eyes were on him and him alone.

"You know Sesshomaru? Please tell me where he is." Her heart pounded in her chest she wanted to find him to be close to him. She needed to be around him around him, even though he may want her dead everything else was gone from her mind.

She forgot the snakes, forgot that she was somehow pulled from the water and her attacker had been killed, forgot she was nude she even forgot the pain that was dully screaming in the back of her mind. Right now there was her and this man. And he knew where Sesshomaru was.

The man's eyes drifted down and he turned his face fast looking away from her, his face was reddened and she felt nothing but anger welling up in her. He would not look her in the eye would not talk to her.

She was confused, scared, she felt so alone and all she could thing was things would go back to normal if she could only be by Sesshomaru's side. She reached out and grabbed his arm trying to pull his attention back to her. Who the hell cared if she was naked this was important.

"Please just tell me!" Her voice cracked as hands started grabbing at her trying to cover her up and pull her down to the mat. Voices calmly talked to her, but she tuned them out people were grabbing and pulling and her head started to swim with all the noise and confusion.

Tears welled up in her eyes as they spilled over, the salt stinging the wounds on her face as she looked around at all the faces, a man with black hair trying to calm her down but at the same time she felt his eyes trying to wander over her.

A beautiful woman holding her hand trying to comfort her, she had a kimono and skirt on as she tried to help her back down. Kagome looked furiously at the man with silver hair as she held Kieko's shoulders slowly trying to bring her back down.

"-reopen your wounds"

"-Please you must cover up"

"-Come on you need rest this isn't good"

"-Inuyasha you moron!"

"-Not my fault! How'd I know she'd go crazy?!"

All the voices and words mixing and jumbling her tears over flowing, she felt so alone more than she ever had at this moment right here. No one would talk to her, or give her news on anything.

They had to know something about Sesshomaru, her eyes started to grow heavy and painful as her tears came in sobs. Everything around her stopped at once as she just let out the pain that she felt her shoulder's shaking and her hands closing around her face she new right then, this was how she was going to feel forever.

The one she loved hated her, people around her as nice and caring as they were couldn't fill the loneliness she felt.

Even if she went back home, after meeting that man, in person for that short period she knew she was the only one who could heal his wounds. She knew that no one but him could ever make her feel whole again.

As she was guided back down to the mat, everyone around her was shooed away. Her head rested in Kagome's lap as she cried, and heaved, and gasped for the breath to cry harder. Her eyes started to her, as did her lungs, and chest.

Her upper body ached more from jolting up right. Kagome stroked her hair softly as Kieko's sobs slowly turned to whimpers. She sniffled and brought her hands up to her face to hide herself away from the world she could hear Kagome's breaths softly inhaling and exhaling as Kieko let herself calm down.

"If you don't mind my asking. What was that all about?" her voice was soft, and curious; Kieko felt that this was the closest thing to being whole as she was going to get.

"I'm not her." She said softly. Kagome looked down at her a question mark plastered on her face. She could feel other eyes on her, as the other's apparently strained to hear as well curiosity raking at them.

"Not who?" Kagome asked her still stroking her hair softly, her hand calming and her voice soft. Kieko didn't feel like going into it, but she knew with an outburst like that she owed it to them.

"I'm not Rin." Kagome stiffened under her head as her hand stopped moving for a second. She heard a sharp intake of breath of to the side of her where the others sat.

"Oh, you know about Rin?" Kagome asked as she tried to act like nothing happened. Her voice still soft, her hand stroking, and her body going lax again. Kieko shook her head no. and kagome looked at her "Then how do you-"

"I dreamt of her, well I dreamt I was her for a long time. That was when I saw him first. Sesshomaru.. I saw him in my dreams, he was looking down at me so kindly, with so much love." Her voice cracked as she spoke of the dreams that happened to her almost every night.

"Then he looked scared, and he got fuzzy and he called out for her, but I always woke up. I'd always be crying but I never understood why until now. Because I loved him back, it hurt me to see him hurting. I loved him from the first time I saw him in my dream but that's all it was. A dream, until I met him and now I can't have him because, I'm Kieko..not Rin."

A tear slid down her face. "I'll never be Rin." She turned her head away from Kagome and let herself cry once more. She felt soft droplets on her cheek. As she looked over she saw Kagome crying as well. Kagome leaned over and hugged her head softly stroking her hair.

"I know that pain." She whispered to Kieko.

* * *

He sat in the bushes where he could see the glow of the fire, He couldn't abandon her until he had answers. Why did she have Rin's scent, her face, when he pulled her from the water and saw her hair pulled out from its strap and loose around her face he asked, why did she have Rin's hair. He left her on the bank planning to leave it at that until he saw his meddlesome half-brother and his group spot her.

He couldn't leave her in their hands. He followed behind them at a distance down wind.

He was lost in thought until he heard sobs and cries of anguish, he knew those sounds because ashamed as he was he had made them himself months ago. He walked over silently to see the girl sobbing openly with her body exposed and the group around her pulling her down.

His half-brother and that damned monk watched her body, he felt his rage boil up and a snarl form at his lips, but he pushed it down. There was no need to feel rage over a human wench.

He started to leave but heard his name on her lips, he turned back swiftly to hear her sobs quicken. He caused her this pain? He should have let her die in the river, and then these would be no use for these questions.

He saw the Priestess shoo the others away and slowly pull the girl down to her lap. She reached over and pulled the blanket over her bare bosom. When the sobs were no more than mere whimpers he took a breath. Relieved by her final comfort.

"If you don't mind my asking. What was that all about?" the young priestess asked softly, he saw her stroking the girl's hair he felt that should be his job, as he did so many times with Rin when she would lay next to him.

"I'm not her" was her answer. His question was the same as the priestess.

"Not who?" He asked silently along with inuyasha's priestess.

"Rin" He caught his breath and growled a human used the name of his love? He went to stand and finish the job the snake demon had started when he heard the soft priestess's voice.

"Oh..you know about Rin?" She asked her voice saddened and lost. As he was ever since the same she was killed. He couldn't see anything but then he heard the woman go on "Then how do you-"

"I dreamt of her, well I dreamt I was her for a long time. That was when I saw him first. Sesshomaru.. I saw him in my dreams, he was looking down at me so kindly, with so much love." His heart stopped. She lied, she had to have lied. No one knew how he felt for Rin, not even his Rin.

She was under his protection that was all he allowed anyone to know. He would not let them know he made his father's mistake of falling in love with a human.

"Then he looked scared, and he got fuzzy and he called out for her, but I always woke up. I'd always be crying but I never understood why until now. Because I loved him back, it hurt me to see him hurting. I loved him from the first time I saw him in my dream but that's all it was. A dream, until I met him and now I can't have him because, I'm Kieko..not Rin, I'll never be Rin."

His chest felt like the air was knocked out of him, he couldn't be here anymore. He had to find somewhere he wouldn't think of her or Rin. He needed to be alone, but right now he mostly needed the air.

As a cloud formed under his feet he took off and flew the opposite way of the scent. The cloud carrying him off to his father's corpse. He needed to understand why he was following in his father's footsteps once again.


	4. Sesshomaru

-Sesshomaru-

He walked up to the giant skeleton of his father; looking at the frame of what used to be his father he felt only anger and betrayal. This man had fallen in love with a human, and he gave her his seed to create his younger half-brother.

Though he swore to never follower in the footsteps of his weak willed father, never look at a human the way he did. He felt himself becoming close to Rin when she was younger and so he left her at the older priestess's hut for her protection, and his.

He hated how close he was becoming to her, how strong he felt when they went to the underworld and Kohaku had told him she wasn't breathing.

At that moment he had felt a fear that he couldn't understand. A rage that made him wanted to strike the boy so he would take it back and tell him she still had life.

He had become weak. He was disgusted with himself, Sesshomaru walked closer to his father, and sat beside him. Thinking of the last time he had come back to the priestess's hut to see Rin.

-Flash back-

_Walking through the village the people no longer feared him. They treated him as they did Inuyasha allowing him to pass. He had made it clear that he was not like his half-brother; if he would be angered he felt no remorse in killing any of them._

_They had understood and went about their day. As he approached the hut he saw a young woman run out, her hair mussed and her kimono only half way on, the obi still just a knot in back and the collar open revealing her cleavage and collar bone to him. He held his breath as he saw her._

_This was Rin, his young ward Rin. She had become a woman before his eyes and he hadn't noticed until now. _

"_LORD SESSHOMARU!" Her voice was a song to him, and he hated the way it tugged his heart. She jumped up and grabbed him around the neck holding him tightly to her as if she never wanted to let him go._

"_Lord Sesshomaru? LORD SESSHOMARU IT IS YOU!" Jaken had yelled running out of the hut and seeing Rin hug him tightly. She was now nuzzling his neck with her cheek and her hair had tickled his neck, though he wouldn't say anything about that. "Unruly girl, get off of him! Look at you a mess, why Lord Sesshomaru doesn't need you fawning all over him looking like a harlot-"_

"_it's fine Jaken" He heard himself say as his arms had reached up and enclosed around her. He let himself give in for a second as he let her warmth slide over him; he felt joy then discomfort as she released him._

_She smiled up at him his heart started to beat faster, but he kept his expression the same._

"_Lady Kagome was helping me dress when I heard the villagers say you were back. I'm sorry if I over stepped Lord Sesshomaru." She smiled, her voice had grown deeper but he could still hear the sound of the Rin he knew somewhere._

"_Let us go in." He had said walking forward, with her and Jaken following as they once had. It felt right for her to be with him again. As they walked into the hut, he could see Inuyasha and kagome sitting talking with the old woman._

_He simply nodded and sat himself down as he watched Rin take her seat in front of Kagome her back to the young Priestess. Kagome brushed through her hair and he watched Rin close her eyes a smile on her face as she relaxed. _

_He watched Rin's face as the brush pulled the hair from her eyes, and her cheeks. Once her hair was put up in the usual style she had always worn he could see it falling back into place. Little curls at the end sticking out._

_She pulled the collar of her kimono back up and fixed it as Kagome tied the bow of her obi in back. Watching her as she turned and smiled to Sesshomaru his heart had skipped. He nodded to her watching her sit back against a wall and Jaken sit against her. _

_He felt his lips twitch, the small demon would never admit it but he was close to Rin now. Spending years with her had done the toad well. Inuyasha stood and looked at him._

"_Can I speak with you outside?" Sesshomaru said neither yes nor no but simply got up and walked out letting the half demon follow him._

"_Yes?" He said not caring how it sounded. He now tolerated his half-brother but that was it._

"_She's lonely." Was all he said and Sesshomaru nodded. He knew Kohaku had grown into a man and left, and the fox demon was out and about no longer young himself. _

_She was left alone with Jaken and the villagers. "all she has is that toad and sometimes when sango and miroku come to visit-"_

_Sesshomaru scowled cutting off his brother. That monk, the one he had heard of always fondling women, he was around Rin? Inuyasha seemed taken aback, by the sudden expression on Sesshomaru face._

_Sesshomaru simply nodded and let the conversation die there as he walked back to the hut. Upon entering he saw Rin playing with her hair, but she smiled up at him. _

"_Gather your things Rin." Was all he said and he walked out again. He would not allow her around that lecherous monk. Not when she looked like, that. _

_He turned back to look at her more closely. As she exited the hut he could see her body had curved out some her bust had filled out and her hips had widened. He couldn't say her figure was hour glass more shallow than that but he could notice her slight curves under her kimono. _

_Her face had slimed down and her eyes had aged a bit, but he still saw Rin, his Rin. _

_She walked over to him a carrying sack in hand, she smiled up at him and she had giggled._

"_Do I really get to come with you again Lord Sesshomaru?" She asked her voice hopeful full of excitement and glee. He nodded to her and started off._

-End flashback-

He sighed looking around as his heart ripped. Regret had formed in his stomach; she had followed him for another full year, with Jaken. When she slept he was close to her, he would stroke her hair when she didn't know.

He would watch her from the distance as she stared off into space her face becoming lax, or tight with thought. He had even caught her bathing, and though he felt odd after he stayed to watch.

She stayed mostly submerged he jest enjoyed watching her enjoy the hot spring the way her heavy hair hugged her shoulders when it was wet, the way she let her muscles loosen up by sitting. When he was about to leave after having his fill he saw her stand.

He had to cover his mouth so not to make a gasp but her body had shocked him. She surely was no longer a small girl with no features in particular; she had small yet full breasts, and nipples that had become tight with the change of temperature. Her figure had curved at her waist her stomach flat, and tight lowering to her groin that had an almost visible 'V' curls peaked out from the water where her lower half still resided.

He turned around and calmly walked away, he could feel himself in his trousers stiff. It would be hard to sleep with her tucked in his side again tonight.

He looked up at the sky and placed his hand over his face. Tears stung the back of his eyes, He refused to cry, and he refused to give into the weakness because of that _human. _

He mentally slapped himself. She wasn't _that human_ she was Rin. His Rin.

After all of that, he had never told her he loved her, he had never taken her body though he dreamt of it plenty of times. She had only been alive, seventeen years. He leaned over and put his head in his hands, his legs open and slightly bent at the knees as they stretched out.

He remembered the day a few months ago when she had died in his arms. The worst day of his life, if asked he would say it was the day his father set eyes on the human woman the birthed his half-brother. But the day Rin looked into his eyes and he saw the light leave slowly, he shook his head in his hands trying to get the image out.

-Flash back-

_He had passed along the outskirts of a village with Rin and Jaken at his back as always. He could smell the blood of a demon as well as blood of humans. Rin looked over at the village and gasped, she ran out off towards the small village. When he looked up he saw fires and someone waving on a roof. _

"_Tch." He said as he followed Rin to where she ran off, she used to be so obedient she never ran off ignored what he ignored. He shook his head watching her run off to the human._

"_What happened?" She asked a concerned tone hitched her voice. _

"_Demon attacked us! We tried to fight it off but we injured it. He's in the courtyard still trying to kill us. But he can't move" Sesshomaru Scoffed. How weak this demon must be to not be able to flee after only having a limb loped off. _

_The human gave Sesshomaru a look, fear and hatred filled the human's eyes. He just walked past and followed Rin who ran into the center of the village to help whoever she could. When he arrived people screamed at his presence._

"_DEMON!"_

"_ANOTHER ONE!"_

"_BE GONE EVIL!"_

_Soon papers were thrown at him, wards against demons. They did nothing but annoy him. He glared at the humans who angered him. Rin looked back at him with pleading eyes. He just nodded._

_He walked up to the Wolf demon with a missing leg the demon was snapping at everyone who walked by it. Sesshomaru watched as it was in its true animal form biting and snapping, and then he saw why it couldn't move. _

_He saw a pitch fork sticking up from its hip stabbing him to the dirt. Rin also saw it because she tried to walk up to it._

"_I'm going to take it out, then I want you to run, don't come back to this village or any village okay?" She asked and it calmed down whining as if saying it agreed._

"_Rin-" He started, he was going to say for her not to do that. He would just kill it and then they could be on their way again. She just turned back to him and smiled._

"_It'll be okay Lord Sesshomaru, he agreed." Her smile stopped him; it was so bright and so trusting. He stood in his tacks his hand on his sword. The crowd was quite as if they held their breath. _

_Rin slowly walked up to the wolf, her eyes locked not on his but the pitch fork, her hands up showing so that the wolf could see them. _

_Sesshomaru watched him though; he had a feeling in the pit of her stomach. He hadn't realized he was also holding his breath until he exhaled. _

_Rin reached over slowly and grabbed a hold of the pitch fork, the wolf was watching her. He was watching the wolf. She griped it the vibrations caused the wolf to whine and growl. _

"_I'm sorry" She said looking down at him. "One, two-" She counted bearing down on the handle. Sesshomaru watched and crouched into position. He saw the look in the wolf's eye, the wolf tensed his body. His eyes flashed what Sesshomaru could only recognize as blood lust._

"_RIN!"_

"_THREE!"_

_Once the pitch fork was pulled the wolf jumped, grabbed Rin by the shoulder and ran off best it could with the missing leg. Sesshomaru ran after it following the scent of blood. His eyes going red with anger as he followed, the demon jumped two times and he was in a thick forest area. _

_He could hear her screaming, the screams of pain, of fear. "LORD SESSHOMARU!" he heard her crying out for her. It wasn't like when he heard her call for him outside the hut of the old priestess. Then her voice was full of joy and excitement, now she was screaming for help she was scared hurting, crying._

_He pushed himself and he reached the wolf as he heard a snap._

"_NO!" He sliced the demon with his Bakusaiga the sword he got from his own body after his arm grew back. The cut was clean and the demon fell in two. He quickly went to Rin's side and looked down at her. She smiled up at him, her neck ripped open blood pooling around her chest, and falling to the ground in front of him._

_He looked at her, as her eyes tried to stay open to look at him, her breath was shallow and he understood that most of the air she took in was escaping from the hole in her throat. He shed his obi and bunched it up in his hands pressing it to her neck. She just watched him, her eyes watering._

_He looked down into her eyes. He made eye contact as he held his obi to her._

"_Rin Listen to me, you won't I forbid it." He said demanding it. He watched as her eyes started to dim, tears stung the back of his eyes. He heard footsteps running up to them but he didn't look up. Her eyes started to close. "Rin, don't die. DO. NOT. DIE!" He demanded her. She smiled at him again, he saw her try to reach up her hand to cup his face as he had done to her, the second time she was brought back to him._

_The second time, his mother had said that was the last time it could be done. She said the tensega could only bring a human back once, as could she. No it had to be a lie, she would come back to him a tear fell from his eye down his face. He didn't care right now. His Rin was dying._

_He watched her, as her hand fell and her eyes closed finally. All the light and beauty she had in them gone._

"_RIIIIN!" He heard her last breath as he picked up her body and clutched it to his chest. He held her body tightly to him and his body shook. He was transforming. He was so mad he was transforming he felt it._

_No, he gasped in air as he felt his eyes burn and his cheeks wet. He was crying, sobbing. He laid her down slowly leaving the blood stained obi where it was. He unsheathed the tensega, and waited. _

"_Where are they." He asked watching waiting for the demons of the underworld to rise up. He waited, his tears dried up his focus on Rin._

"_Lord Sesshomaru.." He refused to tear his eyes away. Watching her. "Lord Sesshomaru, it's been hours, I don't think-" He tore his eyes away and looked at the toad demon he hadn't noticed had showed up. Tears stained his face as well. "I don't think she's.."_

_Sesshomaru nodded and sighed. He knew the truth, she was dead. He just didn't want to admit it. To Jaken, to himself. He leaned down and picked her up, wrapping his obi around her neck to hide the gore._

_He willed a cloud to form under his feet as it carried him back to the village Inuyasha called home. As he landed outside the hut, holding Rin bridal style Inuyasha walked out. As Sesshomaru knew he would, the half demon just stood there, looking._

_Kagome the young priestess walked out after him, "Inuyasha whats-" she gasped her hands raising to her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. "W-what-" She asked her voice cracking._

"_The fool tried to save a blood hungry demon. She got herself killed." He said laying her down on the porch in front of the pair. "Do what it is humans do, dispose of her or-"_

_**SLAP**_

_He looked down to see the young woman's hand raised to him, her tears spilled over. "How could you say that? She loved you and you say to dispose of her?!"_

"_Kagome" Inuyasha said sternly walking up to her pulling her back. Inuyasha just gave Sesshomaru a nod and left with the crying woman tucked under his arms. Sesshomaru walked away to find Jaken again. They would resume traveling._

-End Flashback-

Sesshomaru sat in next to his father looking at the sky. He remembered when the other human had come; he was walking by when he smelled her. Rin's scent had appeared, he didn't understand but it didn't take the time to think about it. He ran to her and instead saw a woman, with Rin's scent, Rin's eyes, and her face looking at a demon. He could also smell her fear.

Killing the demon he had hated her, despised her. This wasn't Rin. "Who is she father…" 'and why does it hurt' he left the last words unsaid. He just sat there thinking.

He saved her twice in one day from being devoured he smelt Rin's blood and ran to her, much to Jaken's confusion but he saw the human's garbs being ripped her head underwater. He had sliced off the mother's head to distract the others and threw it to them. They left the other girl alone. When he pulled her out, but she fought so he yanked. But he saw Rin, his Rin was bloodied again. But alive He saved her time. He held her tightly her hair heavy and wet, her eyes closed, she started to breathe on her own coughing the water up.

"Sesshomaru. Help me" was all she murmured. He understood his name but the rest, he assumed was a prayer. It was in another tongue. This wasn't his Rin, this wasn't Rin. So he left her. He got up left her on the bank and saw something on the ground. A white device, maybe a weapon that was thrown away from her when she was caught. He picked it up and stuffed it into his kimono.

Why did he keep saving her, and why back at Inuyasha's camp did she say she loved him. She didn't know him. He didn't know her. "But she knew about Rin, and how she died." He muttered to himself.

Then he smelled a familiar scent. He looked up to see Inuyasha before him. The half demon looked annoyed and he had a fresh slap make on his face, He was looking away from him at a tree that seemed more interesting than Sesshomaru's misery.. Sesshomaru watched him.

"What brother?" He said looking at Inuyasha's face. The n he looked right at Sesshomaru, his eyes stern.

"She's lonely." Was all he said. Then He left, he jumped up and ran through the trees back to his camp.

Sesshomaru sat there for a while, he would at least get answers, he decided and got up. Nodding he made off after his brother.


End file.
